Tell me what you want

My boss's boss, is a man of whom I'm not particularly fond. He makes good use of his Irish charm and is most definitely a company man. If he was an actor, not an accountant, he would be cast as a policeman or moustached customs officer. He needs a uniform. He is very well liked and respected by all but me.

He is the Corporate Controller. Control is something he does very well, as is face slapping. I dread being called into his office, or him popping into mine..."for a chat". There's always a less than subtle thwack to go with the chat. Metaphoric of course, although I'm sure he's the type. I wonder what it says about him that he feels the need to cut me down time after time.


Last week he called me in, sat me down and insisted I tell him what I want. He's looking after my future and doesn't know how to help me because he doesn't know what I want. What I want? What does anyone want? I want to be happy, healthy, love and be loved. And if I can't have that, then I want enough money to pay the mortgage, go on holidays, paint and be left in peace.

He wants me to show "passion and enthusiasm" for my job.

In my standard passive aggressive calm irritating manner reserved for dealing with people from the office, I mouthed:

"I'm enthusiastic. I'm looking forward to doing this project work. I know I'm fortunate (couldn't bring myself to say blessed) to be given time to work out the next stage of my career."

"But where's the passion Polly?"

Did he wanted me to jump up and down and wave my arms?

"Passion? We are talking about accounting."

Oh dear. Back up. Too late. I realised, as the words left my mouth.

I know that what I am supposed to want is what he wants...me to do for him.

He's decided not to give me a sabbatical because, although the VP of Human Resources had told me it was an option, it's "only offered 'with respect' to people who are considered to have potential to make an impact". Slap. Take that.

What do I want? I want him to give me a termination payout and let me go. I don't want to resign because that would make it too easy.

I want him to stop feigning he has my best interests at heart and give me one huge and final slap of cash as I walk out the door.

There, that's what I want.